Day 31: Chocolate

The melt in your mouth, sweet creamy rich chocolate with any type of nut (I love the salty and sweet taste sensation!)- is a wonderful treat and comfort "food" for me!

Day 30: 5 a.m. news

Every morning before five am- my newspaper is delivered to the end of my driveway. Once I get the breakfast set up for the kids, dishes unloaded from the dishwasher- clothes started in the washing machine- I like to sit down for a few minutes with the paper. I skim the headlines- read some columns of interest. I am grateful that I can begin the day with a little knowledge of whats going on in the "outside" (of my own little busy world) world.

Day 29: Ice Cubes

In one of my previous posts- the handyman one-I mentioned that our refrigerator went out. Of course that means the automatic ice cube dispenser as well. Part of my morning routine is having a tall very cold (loaded with ice cubes) very strong (four tea bag type) unsweet ice tea. Naturally- with the refrigerator issue- it was a brief period that I had no ice cubes. Thankfully, my husband got all that in working order in very short time. And I am so grateful (very low maintenance girl aren't I?) to have my ice cubes back!

Day 28: Adoration

For one hour a week I am a part of perpetual adoration at my parish. For one hour I am quiet- no chores, to do lists, writing projects- errands or any of the hundreds of other things that demand my attention and time. For one hour I pray, meditate, and thank God. For one hour I regroup my spiritual life and connection. For one hour I am still and quiet with my own thoughts and focus on what is important- and for this I am grateful.

Day 27: Cell Phones

It may be common place today for every man, women and child to own a cell phone. Yet, when I was a teenager we had two phones in the house- both connected to the wall with cords. Trust me- it was a big deal when we got a cordless phone. Of course we didn't have DVDs, CD's, computers, Ipods, blackberries or anything along those lines either. They weren't invented yet.

But being out late last night in the drizzling cold rain- driving home after seeing a movie with friends- I was grateful for the security and comfort that a cell phone brings me. Just knowing I have one- to contact anyone I need to at anytime- from wherever I am - makes me feel grateful.

Day 26: Movies

To sit in a move theater- with the large screen, smell of popcorn and comfortable theater seating and watching a great movie. To me that is true enjoyment, escapism and entertainment. Today I am grateful for movies.

Day 25: Leopard Print Jacket

Last year I had my eye on a leopard print trench coat from a trendy (ie: expensive ) boutique women's clothing store. The couple of hundred dollar price tag was well beyond my comfort zone to spend on a jacket for myself.

Yet as it turned out- by the very dead end of the season- well into the next season- the price was considerably reduced. Not only that- the one leopard print jacket left on the back rack- was my size and the perfect price for what I was willing to spend. So I purchased it and now I wear it all the time. Strangers even come up to me and say- great jacket! Yes it is a great jacket- that makes me feel great wearing it- for that I am grateful.

Day 24: Regina & Larry

If there ever was a friend that could tell you the truth straight up and be outrageously funny at the same time it is Regina. We've known each other over ten years. We both have fourteen year old and nine year old daughters who were (are) classmates at school.

She is one of my friends that I talk to daily (okay sometimes several times daily) and our youngest daughters are BFF too. Additionally- Tom and I love spending time with Regina and her husband Larry (In photo- from left to right- Larry, Karen, Regina, Lois & Tom.) It's rare to find a best friend that not only you and your children get along with, but your spouse does as well. I do feel very blessed (grateful) that we are all one big happy group of friends.

Day 23: Leon & Les

My youngest brother Les turned 44 years old today- and naturally it made me think of him. Which of course made me think of my other brother Leon who is 45 (okay- we all have names that begin with the Letter"L") Then there is me at 46, then an older sister - Laura who is 47.

But I digressed there.I want to talk about brothers- sisters may be another blog when the muse hits. But now the limelight (if there even is one in this less than star worthy blog) is now my brothers.


I will be the first one to admit that having two younger brothers was a pain in the *ss most of the time. They were annoying, troublesome, and would make fun of me and my friends until we cried. I cried a lot. So much so that my mother used to call me "crocodile tears" - all the time. Hey- do crocodiles even have tears? Huh. Anyway- that aside- being nuisances - that was their job. Little siblings (especially those of the opposite sex) are supposed to annoy- and if anyone ever tells you different- tell them to give me a call.

We went through all the normal family garbage- hating then liking each other. Speaking then not speaking- well all the dysfunctional normal family stuff at least. But overall- I am glad the Leon and Les are my brothers. Les is so funny he makes me cry- Leon is still such a tease but a terrific guy as well- and my children adore them both. And I love that my brothers are so kind to my children. Leon and Les' children- (Melanie is shown in photo in between Leon on the left and Les on her right) are all terrific friends with each other. It is great that our children are not only cousins- but good friends as well.

Who knew that siblings who fought so much- could have offspring that get along so well? Maybe that whole fighting thing skips a generation?

So pain in the *sses they may still be (as I am sure I am a pill to them!) - but they are my brothers all the same. So to recall times of the past- I will give Les a familiar refrain - "Happy Birthday Les!"

Day 22: Wild Hair

Sticking out in all directions- I love my sons' morning hair. They shower at night- and often go to be with their hair still wet. I love to see what their hairdo's look like first thing in the morning- believe me this starts my day with a hoot.

Day 21: He had a dream

Today is a short, sweet and easy gratitude. I am grateful for Martin Luther King- for his dream of equality, for all people all the time- without conditions.

Day 20: Ice Skating in Savannah

For as long as we have lived here, every winter our local Civic Center turns into an ice skating rink. I still think it is so ironic that it can be eighty degrees outside, then once you enter the rink you are standing on ice. My children have become rather adept skaters- having gone every year to the rink- and I am grateful that they have this opportunity to experience a more Northern winter sport.

Day 19: Stray Cats

Since we went to the Humane Society three years ago and came home with two kittens- other cats have found their way to our home. Our cats, all gray Sissy, and her sister -gray and white Boots- (seen in this photo) spend their days lounging around outdoors in warm sunny spots throughout our yard.

Our two cats have attracted several strays throughout the years. I also leave out fresh food and water for the strays everyday.Though they won't let me touch them- being feral- they do wait for me (from a cautious distance) for their early morning meal. I am grateful that I am able to help out these cats and provide them a consistent meal. That they have indeed adopted our family to be theirs.

Day 18: Morning Food

Recently we were heading back from a day at an amusement park, and had stopped late in the evening at an all night local diner for a quick bite to eat. We looked over the menu - and it had the usual fare from hamburgers to eggs served around the clock. Then my youngest, 7 year old Ryan was asked what he wanted to order he said "I want morning food." I cracked up- I always called it breakfast food- but it is typically eaten in the morning so why not call it morning food?

Like Ryan, I like morning food anytime of the day. There is something comforting about eggs and toast- or pancakes. Since my mornings begin before 5 a.m- it is my sacred time of the day. I love to wake and get my day organized: breakfast set up for the kids, making their bag lunches for school, get the cats fed, laundry started, dishes unloaded from the dishwasher- grab the newspaper , check email- maybe squeeze in some writing or editing- and write my daily to do list. It's a fresh start with a brand new day full of possibilities. Maybe that's why I also like morning food- it reminds me of all of the newness a new day brings- even if its late in the evening.

Day 17: Handymam

Not only am I grateful that my husband Tom is a very intelligent and hardworking aerospace engineer- he can also fix just about anything. This gratitude stemmed from our refrigerator clunking out on us. We custom built our home ten years ago- and therefore the appliances are the same age as well.

So it seems they all want attention now too! Thank goodness Tom can get things back in running with little to no effort- well maybe some. But he has a gift for being a handyman extraordinaire- and rarely have we ever had to have a repairman enter our house. Actually- Tom was involved in the of the original construction of this house too. Anyway- he can tinker and get anything working- from electrical to plumbing, to heating and air problems as well- for that I am grateful.

Day 16: Blankets & Thumbs

I guess I'm on a roll with Melanie stories. Not only was she my biggest baby- she was my only child who sucked her thumb. Just thinking about this endearing habit of hers makes my heart smile.

Melanie had a little routine to suck her thumb. First she had to find her soft pastel multi colored
blanket with fringes around the edges. Then she would take a section of the fringe roll it around her fingers in her left hand while she put the thumb of her right hand in her mouth. She would gently fall asleep dreaming sweet dreams- and look completely angelic too. (This picture was taken in 1996- Melanie was three years old)

Day 15: Chubby thighs

One of my friends reading this post said "you talked about all your children except Melanie." Yes, that is true- but let me explain. There are way too many cute adorable stories I could tell about Melanie- but do understand that she is now a Freshman in High school- a teenage girl of 14. She is therefore absolutely mortified if I say anything about her- mostly about her body. But I am not going to talk about her current figure- just her former cute baby thighs. Because now she is in her self conscious teen years- that I remember myself all to well.

Why do they care about a baby pictures years ago- cute that it may be? Well because it is all too embarrassing and humiliating that's why. So maybe I can slide a Melanie story in here anyway- hopefully not crushing her "cool" too much- after all I doubt that any of her peers are reading my blog anyway.

My Melanie was my biggest baby- almost eight pounds. She was also my only baby with hair and chubby thighs- well chub all over. But I loved her little thighs- they were so Pillsbury dough boy sweet adorable baby thighs. Just thinking about them warms my heart- she was such a cherub. Even now she can be an angel when she is not obsessed with teenage angst and hating us- her parents- for being such complete dork uncool sub human beings.

So to my Melanie- I am grateful for your adorable baby thighs (above photo taken in 1994- she was about ten months old). Though of course you no longer have them Melanie- you are an slim gorgeous teen that once had the cutest baby thighs ever.

Day 14: Pasta

Pasta- any type- any sauce with any add ins. One of my favorite pasta dishes is one made with whole wheat pasta (now- don't think I am a total health nut yet) , then topped with roasted garlic cloves, mushrooms, grilled shrimp then smothered (see I am human) in creamy rich Alfredo sauce. Need I say more? I'm grateful for wonderful delicious and a meal in itself- pasta!

Day 13: Lazy Sunday Mornings

During the week our (my husband and my) alarm goes off before 5 a.m.- and we don't hit the bed again until well after ten p.m. At least one morning on the weekend (barring any sporting events or other activities) we can sleep in. Arise when our bodies say to without the alarm screaming at us to get up when we don't and are not ready to.

On Lazy mornings we have a chance to visit- to make a cup of coffee- a big homemade breakfast- read the paper- stay in our PJ's. Spend leisurely time together. These are the mornings that sometimes with a busy life are few and far apart- but when they arrive are gratefully and eagerly welcomed like long lost friends.

Day 12: Invitations

During the month of December we usually get about a dozen invitations- from cookie exchanges to gift exchanges- from casual parties to black tie events. Throughout the year there are invitations for birthdays, retirements, book signings, gallery openings, silent auctions and a wide variety of events. Being a social butterfly- I love going to as many events as I am able. One thing I never get tired of and that I am always grateful for are invitations. Who doesn't love to be included?

Day 11: Iced Tea

My quick and simple gratitude for today- a tall cool glass of iced tea. Nothing is as refreshing to me as iced tea on a hot day. We had seventy five degrees and bountiful sunshine yesterday- perfect ice tea drinking.

Although I have lived in the South over a dozen years- my friends think it is almost sacrilegious that I can't drink sweet tea. Most Southerners begin drinking their sweet tea from birth- sometimes from a bottle. Having spent most of my life in the Midwest- it's something I never acquired the taste for. I like my straight up and unsweetened- to me that is true pleasure.

Day 10: Lake Geneva

Tom has known his best friend "Chip" for well over four decades- they grew up together having been neighbors-their houses backed up to each other. Chip

was our best man at our wedding as well as Godfather to both of our sons.

Every summer Chip and his wife Wendy open up their gorgeous Lake Geneva lakefront home to us. The children have created so many wonderful memories- from the walks from Chip's house to town along the winding shoreline path- to the many water activities including tubing and jet skiing- and the great fun on water trampoline near their dock.

All day and night is overflowing with incredible food as well as great fun and conversation. From sitting around the nightly campfire on their back patio- as we watch the stars twinkle and reflect off of the glistening water as we make smores and tell stories. These are moments that etch happiness in your heart.

To Chip and Wendy- thank you. Our lives are greatly enriched by having you as friends.

Day 9: Amaryllis

This beautiful Amaryllis greeted me this morning as I walked into the kitchen. Overnight it had gone from buds to bloom and gave my eyes a visual feast. What a nice way to start a morning- and a very easy gratitude to boot!

Day 8: Sweetpea

My youngest daughter Tiffany (also known as sweet pea) is feminine as can be but as tough as nails too. A true steel magnolia.



What made me grateful today was thinking about Tiffany's unrelenting willpower (some would say it is a tendency toward stubbornness- like her mom.)


For example, she is a competitive team player. Tiffany is a skinny little girl- dwarfed by most of the other soccer players in the Under 10 league. However, out on the field she is determined and unafraid- running, kicking and moving on the field like a true champ. Where does she get her gumption? I'm not sure -though I know that courage and strength will be a valuable asset in her life- my little sweet pea.

Day 7: Bunny Clears

Today is slammed with appointments, errands and way too much work to fit into one day. But sometimes gratuities serendipitously sneaks in.

What I mean is that I was so damned focused in getting through to do lists that today's gratitude came to me almost by chance. During clean up of the morning breakfast, I had finished using a roll of paper towels and was set to pitch the cardboard tube.

Then a smile crept on my face as wide as the Cheshire cat's in Alice in Wonderland as a sweet memory - sparked by that empty cardboard tube- filled me to the brim and lightened for the moment my load of to do's.

Five years ago- when my youngest Ryan was about three years old he attended a two morning a week - three hour pre-school. Amongst the many varied and wonderful activities they did was arts & crafts. After picking him up one particular morning, he excitedly announced, "Mommy- I made bunny clears!"

"Oh- terrific hon. Wow," I said out loud as I thought to myself- "What in the world are bunny clears? How out of it am I?"

"Yeah mom- I have them in my book bag," He added quickly and proudly, "Do You want to see?"

"Why sure- anything made by you is great. And I'm sure you made the best bunny clears around," I said as I began to puzzle exactly what it was that he had made.

Ryan grabbed his book bag then rummaged around until he produced his arts and crafts project.

"See mom?" he said. In his little hands he held two empty cardboard bathroom tissue holders- which were glued together, then secured with a string to hang them around your neck. "You can see things better with bunny clears." He then held them in front of his blue eyes with such pride- looking through the two paper tubes at me.

Yes, my sweet Ryan, I can also see much better now too- even better than binoculars. Thank you for "Bunny Clears."

Day 6: Linda & Steve

My Aunt Linda is my mother's youngest sister.
She has been married to my uncle Steve for over thirty years, have two grown sons, and one grand daughter. For as long as I can remember they have lived in Minnesota- because Steve's family was from there. They met each other while working in Chicago- after they married they moved to Minnesota so Steve could work for his dad's businesses.

Throughout the years they made frequent trips to Chicago to visit family, on the other hand I had only been to Minnesota a few times. Actually the last time I had been there I was twenty five years old, and it was for a short stop over visit on the way home from a business trip.

Life got busy for me- my career, marriage, moves, children and I seldom saw them again- minus funerals and weddings. Yet, the summer of 2007 they encouraged me to visit them. My four children and I were all in Chicago during our annual visit, my husband was still back in Savannah working. My mother assured me she would be more than glad to keep my four children safe and sound while I took the trip.

It wasn't easy either. I am sort of a Nervous Nelly- and mother hen that's always close by her little chicks. But I felt it was time for me to reclaim a little of my own Independence as well as giving them some also. Time for all of us to spread our wings- to have an adventure. Besides, my youngest was seven years old- and they would be left in the good and loving hands of their grandmother who only gets to see them once a year.

So off I went on my Minnesota trip to visit Linda and Steve at their new lake home (which their eldest son Paul, who owns his own construction company, built). After my nerves settled down from worry about leaving my children behind in Chicago- I soon got adjusted to the little solo mini vacation I was on.

For the first time in years- I did not tuck anyone in bed. It was just me. I have to admit it felt a little like something was missing. The kids. This was the part that I had to let go and let God- trust that they would be alright because I left them, in capable hands. Trust that we would all be reunited upon my return. Trust. I sent out positive vibes (not knowing at the time I was using the law of attraction) that they were safe and having fun. And as it turned out they were.

I called my children frequently and they were having such a grand time- having huge non stop sleepovers with cousins. I believe at one given time my mom had nine grandchildren overnight at once! Half the time I called they were too busy in their freedom and play to say more that hi and "bye- see you soon mom."

So, I began to relax- to soak in the calm and serenity of the gorgeous lake- the majestic redwood trees- the fresh Minnesota air. The week was spent cozily wrapped in wonderful activities- water skiing, canoeing, tubing, taking walks, reading, eating- visiting. My Uncle George and his wife Ruth also came down from Owatonna, as well as my cousin Kathy, her husband Tim and baby son Henry- and Kathy's brother Erik - all from Minneapolis. We had a mini family reunion and it was incredible to spend time with the houseful of them.

I guess I didn't realize how much I missed everyone until we were all together laughing and talking. It's a shame that we all live so far apart- but I am thankful for the glorious week I was tucked away in Brained Minnesota with some terrific relatives. And that I realized that a little independence is good for the soul for everyone. Mom away from children, children from mothers.

Day 5: Downtown Divas

"Most women hate women- we're lucky we have this group that loves women," Jacqui said.

That insightful statement was dolled out to the seven women who make up the group we gave the moniker the "Downtown Divas." We are not Divas- nor do we all live downtown. It's a name that stuck- regardless of its literal worth. I (in photo third from left) am a proud member of this group of fabulous women who meet for monthly dinners, or lunch- throw parties together and overall are an integral part of each others life.

These women have become, over the last few years, some of my most cherished and favorite friends. Though I have other group of friends from many other parts of my life- my children's schools, sports, church, the neighborhood, old bunco teams and so on-this group has it's hold on my heart.

One member of the Diva's is my soul sister, Pat (in the picture the one on the far left). She is an adorable red headed brilliant all around wonderful person. She is not only an aspiring writer, and friend extraordinaire but also a District attorney. God hit it on the nose when he put her in my life and I am blessed beyond belief to call her my best friend.

Then there is Tana, the youngest (mid twenties) of the group. Tana (green shirt- crouching in the picture), the mother nature child who is cute as a button , down to earth, newly engaged and studying to be a midwife. She is also a "pet whisperer"- and seems to connect with every creature walking (or flying) - it is truly her gift and calling.

Another member of the Diva's is a gorgeous brunette Kim (second from left). She is an executive administrator who works from her lovely historic home- and until as recently refused to have a cell phone (her new boss made her get one- for that we are all glad- now we can get a hold of her!) All the men want her- I have yet to find one man who is not pinning away after her. She is an incredible hostess, gracious and warm- her dinner parties are the best around.

Then there is the tall lovely statuesque artist, Natalie, with the flowing long golden hair who at fifteen years old fell in love with the same man she is still with today- almost two decades and two children later. Natalie (fourth from left) is sweet- kind and has more patience in her little pinky then I have in my entire body.

Oh and there's Jacqui (Pat's sister and last one on the far right) - the one who's made the comment I quoted at the beginning of this blog. She is a mutli talented- artist, gourmet cook, hostess party person to the tee, real estate agent- all around spunky fiery tell it like it is beautiful woman. If you need advice - she will give it- and she is right on the money one hundred out of a hundred times. Allot of who she is and how she relates to life- straight on and with confidence - is who I want to be when I grow up.

What can I say about Jennifer(Second from right)? She is a curious wide eyed playful little girl stuck in a model like grown women's body. Adventurous, funny- honest to a fault- and one of the best people you want in your corner anytime- and at all of your parties too!

For all of them- the Downtown Divas- for you I am grateful.

Day 4: Great Aunt Helen

Only day four and I am trying not to get to the point that I rush through the gratitude. Dump it out and quickly move on. I think it may be more valuable in remembering the gratitude by taking a moment more to soak it in and enjoy what I am grateful for. Take time to fill myself with the happy positive feelings it brings. Let it linger in my emotions and mind a little longer- let it take time to saturate and wrap me up in the goodness of the memory.

Therefore, I have been trying to write out my daily posts, and wiggle out the gratitude from my memory stores - in a little more depth. By not just writing one sentence but flushing out the gratitude by spilling my thoughts- as random as they may be- about the gratitude into as many sentence or paragraphs that feel I did it justice (and that time will allow on any particular day.) That the gratitude's positive vibe will able to take hold perhaps enough to carry through until tomorrow's gratitude moves in.

That being said, today my gratitude is for my Great Aunt Helen. She is my fraternal grandmother's youngest sister. She is still alive - well into her mid 80's- the last and only living member of that generation on my fathers side. Not only is my father dead -every one of his mothers siblings (except for Helen) is as well. I selfishly hold onto her-knowing that when she is gone that precious link is gone as well. But that is not why I am grateful for her- it is because of who she is.

I wish that the whole world knew her- really I do. Why? Well for countless reasons. Some of them difficult to pin down (it's troublesome for me to neatly wrap up and express all what I feel about her into a cohesive explanation- but I will give it an attempt- as weak as my skills may be.)

Helen is a candle- she can light up a room with her smile- her humor is apparent in the twinkle in her steel blue eyes and the depth of her laughter. She is an incredibility charming and courteous conversationalist. When you talk to her- she is not rushed for you to get to the end of your story- you would never feel that she is bored and that you are wasting her time. No, she will listen and ask you questions about your story until you are good and done. She enjoys you being there and there is no doubt about her sincerity.

Though this may sound cliche- you would know what I meant if you would talk to her- it is a feeling that right then you are the most important person in the world to her- and that every thing about you mattered to her. You are eye to eye, and heart to heart when you are with her. Does that make sense?

I am not mentioning this for any pity- just so that you might get an understating of how someone like Helen could have affected me so. I have always felt as the black sheep in my own family. Actually I still am. I never fit in- always looking in from the outside- and their treatment of me mirrors how I feel (perhaps the law of attraction again.) My mother had four children in four years- and a detached neglectful husband who slipped into the throes of alcoholism- complete with chronic unemployment, raging hostility and social isolation. She desperately struggled to hold our family together and out of survival -became the sole wage earner.

In this mix- I was the second born- yet more of a middle child of sorts. As most birth orders go- -the baby needed her most and guaranteed her attention. Followed by the third born who had severe allergies and needed her assistance and aid when he was suffering a bad attack. My sister- the firstborn was in charge and my mom's second hand person. I was sort of the middle child- adrift in the mix. I went along- and plodded through expecting, needing and getting little as far as attention or love. But I'm not saying this is bad. It is what it is. The sky is blue, the grass is green, I was the easily forgotten middle child in a chaotic dysfunctional home.

Yet there was Great Aunt Helen. I mattered to her- and still do. She gave me a sense of worth that I never felt before- and for that I am grateful- now and forever.

Everything about her is warm and kind. How she looks. The softness in her face- the happiness of her smile- the gentle grayish white curls that frame her angelic face. There is so much about her that is so dear to me that I can not imagine I can do justice to all of them. Therefore I will not try- but only highlight the ones that readily come to mind. And speaking of that- right now I'm thinking about her culinary skills.

Oh, yes. Her cooking. Don't get me started on her cooking. Egads. Her Scottish shortbread butter cookies that are flaky little rectangles that melt in your mouth and fill every taste bud with pure unadulterated blissful joy. Her husband of over sixty years, Art, says that that is what he misses most about her. Her incredible cooking skills. Art misses it because now Helen is suffering from a form of dementia. She no longer cooks- for the cruel ravages of the disease have stolen away much of her memory and with it secret ingredients and measurements too.

A tear welled up in my eyes, and streaked down my cheek as I felt the enormity of that last sentence's truth take hold. Dementia. That cruel disease that sneaks in as a forgotten name, then a face- that slowly and meticulously packs away your precious memories into a storage cell you can no longer access. My Great aunt is being stolen away- memory by memory from all of us. I wish I could grab dementia by the shirt collar- slam it up against a brick wall (it seems so forceful and tough in the movies- like they mean business) and say "Leave Helen alone- you bully! Get the hell out of here or else I will kick your sorry behind!" But alas, I can't.

I have to sit by and watch Helen get taken down by the uncaring bully and thief that is called Dementia. That sucks. I have to get out of the sad feeling and force myself back into the positive because that is what this journey is all about.

So- Thank you my sweet dear Universe for giving me- out of all the Great aunts in the world I could have had- the greatest- Helen. God bless you Helen and may you still be around every summer for my yearly visits to Chicago. I love you.

Day 3: No snow

This may be obvious, since I live in Georgia- but I am thankful for this temperate climate. Mainly no snow. Having lived in the Chicago area for close to thirty years- and having had navigated the wintry months of ice and snow laden streets, sub zero temperatures and countless hours of scraping ice and snow off of windshields and ruining shoes and clothing with the salty snowy mixture. I am happy to not have that part of winter.

Don't get me wrong. Snow is fine- in a picturesque postcard kind of way. For the scenic nostalgic ideal Christmas with snow softly and slowly falling from the sky, and draping the land in a pure white blanket. It is beautiful. It's just that I don't want to live in a city that is covered with it for several months out of the year. When it turns that grayish black from having been mixed with mud and salt from cars pushing through it. When it has to be plowed into huge mounds that block a drivers view into the street. When it becomes a ice rut in which you have to put your car in or else be stuck- cold and alone. Been there - done that for three decades.

Now that my eldest is driving- I am also thankful that he doesn't have to learn in the treacherous icy environment that I learned in. Not that I'm saying at all that he is a bad driver (I owe him a dollar anytime I even elude to that fact that he is one- it nicks at his armour of self confidence)- he is not a bad driver at all- just an inexperienced one.

Getting around our smallish city in Georgia with the residential and highway traffic is enough for him right now. Being somewhat a control freak that I am- it gets me nervous enough Sean driving on our dry streets. I would have to be medicated to have him learn to drive on slushy icy snow covered Chicago streets. UGH. I can't even think about it without my heart pounding out of my chest and my stomach knotting up. Shoot- did I just focus on not having a negative for my daily gratitude- like I said may not be the true intent of this journey? I'm so new at all of this- maybe I can let this slide.

Therefore- to sum up day number three. I am grateful for living in the Southeast with its warmer temperatures and safer road conditions for my teenage son to learn to drive.

Day 2: Home sweet home

It's easy to start of with a bang with everything feels so fresh and new- like 2008 does now. Full of possibilities- fresh beginnings - a clean slate.

I like to think I can recreate myself- clean up old personality problems or behaviors that aren't desirable or working in my life anymore. Or maybe those behaviors (habits, idiosyncrasies, traits) never have worked and I finally figured it out. Whatever the case- a new year is a way to rethink my life. To make it better. Learn what works and fix what is not working. Its sounds simple in theory, yet I know it takes some concentrated effort.

I also believe personal improvement it is a lifelong continuous process full of setbacks and false starts- and on the flip side can also have huge success and great happiness too. What I want to do is swing my life into the consistently happy and content side and less on the insecure melancholy side (which has been a perennial pattern for me).

Albeit, overall my life has been -all things said - great so far. Although not devoid of horrendous events. Yet I can easily slip into negative thinking and spiral downward with those thoughts and feel so lost and desolate there. I want to relearn my thinking patterns, and get to a point that all old negative habits - thinking patterns- are broken and replaced with it's happier much more content counterpart. They say that a habit takes 30 days to take hold- I'm giving this new way of thinking via the law of attraction and gratitude- a whole 365 to take hold. I have a stubborn side and need the extra time!

So here is day two of gratitude. This came easily for me today, when I went outside to retrieve my newspaper from the end of my driveway. I picked it up and then looked around. At the mature foliage, the flowering winter bushes, the neat curb lined streets. The manicured lawns surrounding stately well kept homes. And I thought, "Wow, this is my home." My husband, myself and our four children live in this gated secure golf/swim/tennis planned community. It has rich history, and gorgeous land scape- from expansive marsh views to hundred year old oak tress dripping with Spanish moss.

We can safely ride our bikes, take walks- cruise around for countless miles in our golf cart along the many paved paths exploring this resort like community we live in. I am thankful my children have lived here for twelve years and enjoyed all the beauty and amenities it has to offer. I am thankful that all the events in my life have lead me somehow to this home and to this community.

Day 1: Tom & Sean

The Law of attraction- what you want is what you get. That is a powerful statement filled with almost a magical (if it works) quality. Being a skeptic, and having a little south side of Chicago cynical edge to me- I thought surely this "Secret- The Law of Attraction" is all new age woo woo talk. And everyone is buying into it like the story the emperor's new clothes. I will be the only one who says "Ha! You're buck naked! Get clothes on your scrawny behind before you embarrass yourself."

Having come from a rather melancholy and the glass is half empty pessimistic cynical family (though I forced myself to learn bubbly and perky because it was more fun!)- this whole experience will be genetically out of whack with how I was raised to think and react to things. So I think I am a great test subject. Who better to turn into a positive optimistic grateful person than one who's wired as the opposite?

Okay- I'm not that bad a skeptic but I do question a lot and often have to find out for myself the truth. So I decided to take this journey of attracting happiness and abundance by thinking of happiness and abundance through finding daily gratitude. I decided to give it a true chance- not just one day, or one month- or several months. Why not a whole 365 days- a full year. Surely that should give this concept a chance to "work its magic"- right? So that is what I will do- a full year of daily gratitude's- attracting all the good in my life by thinking about and then documenting (via this blog journal) something positive everyday.

So I ask myself will this gratitude include "I'm grateful that a-hole who cut me off in traffic didn't hit my car?" Or am I missing the point. Or better yet is grateful "Thank God I don't have any horrific disease?" Then I thought that is not the point. That type of gratitude focuses on not having a negative. The whole idea of the "law of attraction" is have positive thoughts that will attract positive back. Well then, I am truly happy I didn't get hit by the car, and don't have any disease. But then "hit by a car,"and "disease" are negative words and will not put me on the right path of the spirit of this law. Gratitude is what makes you feel happy, deep down joy. So that is my goal for my daily listings.

Then the next thought is, will I run out of things to be thankful for? And end up listing sunshine and my dishwasher as a gratitude? Though I really enjoy both- one for warmth and one for freedom in the kitchen. Will I have enough positive gratitude with meaning and depth to fill 365 days? I really don't know yet, but I have to begin with day one first.

What better way to start than with a fresh brand new New Year? January 1, 2008 is my day one. I was a little selfish- because there are a lot of things I have on my New Year's Resolutions list- lose the last twenty or so pounds I have been hanging onto forever from having four children, then tone up my current flabby childbearing body, sell (and publish) my first manuscript, finish another manuscript... become a New York Times bestselling author, appear on Oprah, become a multi millionaire (oops- I added in a few dreams there too.)

So, I thought- hey why not kill a few birds with one stone? If this Law of attraction business really works like they claim- then all of these resolutions and more will all be taken care of - right? Shoot I should also add on wining the mega lottery to boot. But I digress.

Here it is day one- and I have to find a gratitude. Even a little one. Something positive, that makes me deep down genuinely happy. It should be genuine - right? I have to be honest, give it my heart or else it would be cheating. Surely the law of attraction energy field knows when someone is faking it and not putting "real" positive thought vibes out there? Right?

That is one thing I have learned (believe me through many trials and error) in 46 years is truth is much easier to manage. Therefore I will really give it my best shot to find genuine deep down gratitude. Even if I have to dig. Maybe it will get easier along the way. Or not. So here it goes, my first step in this year long journey of Daily Gratitude. On day 365 I should have, according to the interpretation of "The Law of Attraction," a life full of abundance and happiness (and dare I say dreams that come true too? )

So here is day number one. My husband, Tom, and 15 year old son, Sean, got back from a four day Appalachian trail camping trip with their Boy Scout Troop. They came back safe and had a wonderful adventure. As they walked in, tired, scruffy and smelling of campfires and the outdoors late New Years eve day I was grateful to see them. My tall skinny funny, popular and loving first born child- my son, and my always even tempered, handsome, hard working husband. I missed them, and enjoyed their tales of icicles that had formed inside their tent from condensation from their breath.

How their hiking boots were frozen stiff and they had to warm them up in order to put them on. How they ran into another hiker, late at night. Their group of eleven dads and sons were bundled up and huddled together after a long cold wet day hiking- and this hiker, donned in skimpy t-shirt and shorts- with a minuscule back pack and his tiny little dog still had seven miles left to trek alone in the chilling darkness. How they were amazed that hiker seemed completely in his element and at ease with his journey though he seemed (at least to them) so ill prepared.

Tom and Sean were home- along with their stories and piles of dirty gear. I was glad to see every bit. They were safe. They had fun. They were back home- with me. With all of us. We would all be at our friends' annual New Year's eve party celebrating together as a family. For Tom and Sean, and for all of us six of us being together. "God Bless us all- everyone" (ode to Tiny Tim)

There is my first gratitude. It felt pretty good to write that out to.